Listen to those nudges in your gut
It’s been five years since I started Humble Phoenix and much has changed in the world and my own life. So, I felt like it was time for a retrospective! I wanted to reflect on what this journey has taught me and how I've landed where both I and the business are at now. No help from ChatGPT, just my raw thoughts and the lessons I've learned.
This is the second of a three-part series … catch up on the first one here.
Lesson 2: Listen to those nudges in your gut
When I had my first sessions with a kinesiologist, I remember her so clearly saying “drop out of your mind, come back to your heart”. At first, I nodded along; it sounded right, and I trusted her. But a few sessions later I clearly wasn’t getting it … and I literally had to ask her what she meant and how to do it!
Even though I’m naturally quite intuitive and empathetic, I’d lost a true connection to myself at that point in my life. I’d been focused on the numbers and progress of my health. I'd been over-committing at work. I’d been studying, diving into research and making intelligent arguments in my papers. I’d come through a big period of change in my life. I'd not really listened to the signals that were telling me I was off-centre.
Those kinesiology sessions actually came after a gut-nudge I couldn’t explain, followed anyway, and discovered its gift much later. In February 2014 I booked a yoga retreat in Byron Bay for that New Year’s Eve week – 10 months away, in a place I'd never been with a teacher I'd never practiced with. Wild move.
I had no idea at that point what a watershed year it would be for me. Changing homes, changing jobs, changing friendships, finishing my Grad Dip in Wellness (after they withdrew the full Masters I was aiming for) without a clear plan for what I wanted to do with it. My body was starting to change approaching middle-age (I realised in hindsight!) and I was diagnosed with osteoarthritis. By that Christmas I needed a rest.
The retreat gave me that rest but also broke me open! The Byron Bay area, traditionally the lands of the Bundjalung Nation and the most easterly part of Australia, has a magic to it, a way of resetting your energy and spirit, opening new avenues of discovery. And so it was for me.
I spent a lot of time alone, but also in the company of strong and inspiring women.
I spent a lot of time sleeping but also went to all the yoga classes available – dynamic, meditation, restorative, nidra, dance, the lot!
I discovered flower essences as a wonderful healing tool.
Something in the experience of that week reconnected me to a little kernel of something inside me. I started seeing that kinesiologist soon after I got home.
A year later I went back to the same retreat, and while that group and that experience was quite different, it introduced me to Reiki, awakened a connection to a compelling female ancestor and set me on the path I’ve followed in the ten years since.
The kinesiologist introduced me to my Reiki teacher and I quickly went through the first two levels of Reiki training, which both opened my heart and hit me over the head (it has a way of doing that!).
Opportunities presented themselves to train in the Mind Detox Method and Australian Bush Flower Essences. Both seemed like services I could and would offer in my future business.
At the time they felt like the right thing to do, and they were! But now, pulling away also feels right.
Mind Detox is an incredible tool and process, but even during the training I sometimes felt a little niggle in the back of my mind about my teacher and the founder of the practice – that there was something unaligned between me and them. But I persisted and finished the certification, like a good girl should. Perhaps that niggle led to my hesitation to fully promote as a service offering, and why it never got much traction. I should have listened! Now, I’ve officially let it go as an explicit offer but have it in my back pocket if I see it will be valuable to a client (or myself!).
I did two levels of training in the Australian Bush Flower Essences. I love them, their many layers and healing gifts. They are gentle and accessible, and subtly powerful. I started selling my own and bespoke oral essence blends and making room sprays. At one point they landed in a local gift shop, which was amazing (though I only sold one bottle, and that was to a friend!). At some point I realised it was my discomfort selling an ingestible product that was holding me back from fully leaning into the flower essences. Shortly after that I stopped promoting them and have now removed them from my website. I still use them myself and continue to be a fan and advocate, and I'll be using them in the room sprays when you come to me for in-person healing and Reiki training.
Similarly, I’ve used flower essence oracle cards in my Reiki Meditation sessions since their inception but have been increasingly feeling like they’re no longer in alignment for me or the group. Then preparing for a recent session where this question was on my mind, the Autumn Leaves essence came through for us to work with. Its healing gift is around letting go and easing transitions (particularly but not only around death). It was the final message I needed and have move onto a different oracle deck with new energy, and it feels right.
When I'd made the decision to leave my professional job, I signed up for Yoga Teacher Training, feeling that it would be a core part of Humble Phoenix. Despite all the challenges of 2020 and then the sudden death of my teacher, I completed it and felt a sense of achievement in that certificate. I loved the balance between learning and experiencing; between the physical and the spiritual; the practical and the esoteric. Yoga has been a true and steady companion in my life, and I hope always will be. But I have never and may never teach in a studio. I may never teach asana (the physical postures). I AM drawn to teaching yoga philosophy, so continue to hold that space for myself with curiosity. If and when it’s right, I’ll feel it.
Through all of this, over time, I’ve been able to tap back into my deep-rooted nature to live and work on instinct! If you know Human Design, I’m a Manifesting Generator I can normally feel pretty quickly when something is or is not right for me, when something is exciting and interesting. I’m at my best when I respond to what’s in front of me and follow that thread. I think it's part of why I wanted to go back into working in a team and in a salaried job - the energy and 'call and response' in that environment works for me, despite its challenges and drawbacks, perhaps more than the solopreneur life.
At the same time, I’m often slow to make decisions. Clarity comes to me over time, not necessarily with research and analysis of all the options, but by sitting with those options until the best one emerges out of seemingly nowhere (then watch me move at pace!).
Now as we move through 2025, and I continue to rethink and reshape Humble Phoenix, some new ideas have emerged.
Some are new ways to offer Reiki, which is now my focus.
I listened to the call of my gut instinct and signed up for a course in something totally new (though intriguingly and beautifully aligned with all the things I love!). It may come to nothing, it may be purely for personal use, or it may become something I offer as a service, I’m not sure yet. I’m just going to relish the learning and the journey and keep listening to the nudges of my gut.
Want to know more?
If something in your gut is stirring, or if you just want to create some quiet space to contemplate, rest and listen to your heart, Reiki may be the perfect solution for you!
Get in touch to book in a discovery call or your first healing session, or find out more about Reiki and how I share it here.
Photo by Jayne Harris on Unsplash